NEWS FLASH: Your Mother has Feelings

I really don't understand what my children think.

Or do they think?

What makes Mom tick?
What are her dreams and desires?
What are her favorite things to do?
What are her favorite places to go?
What are her favorite foods to eat or beverages to drink?

I'm certain they would fail this test.

See, the problem is that my children don't think. They don't see that I'm not just a "mom": the person who gets the groceries, does the laundry... I won't bore you with the long list of mom-jobs as I'm certain you all know what they are. I'm the unseen entity that just simply gets stuff done... for the entire family. The automaton, if you will.

I feel I also need to mention that I have a full-time job.

I want to make clear to my reader that, if need be, I'm quite certain that my family could survive if I were to step out of the mix (for maybe a short-ish vacation). They are self-sufficient enough to make themselves a meal (although not square), and they have been known to actually do the occasional load of laundry; however, they have all been asked to refrain from throwing my clothing in with theirs.

My gripe today is that nobody in my household sees me as a person. A person with feelings. More specifically, a female person. It's so foreign to them that I shave, wear jewelry, like to do my hair and make-up.

Nope.

To them, it is simply, "C'mon mom, you look fine. Let's go." Regardless of where we are going, I look "fine". I'm sure they are not really seeing me. Seeing me for what I would like to fix or cover-up or match. This is about as close as I've ever gotten to a compliment in my own house.

Some of you may be thinking that I'm some needy, pathetic person whining about the life of motherhood that I have enlisted in.

Well, to you who say that, I say: I'm not that type of person. I'm a woman, who would occasionally like to hear that my hair looks nice, that the color of my shirt looks good on me, etc. What is wrong with that. I'm not complaining about being a mother, just the way that "mother" is being defined nowadays. We mothers are all still females, complete with feelings and emotions.

I feel that I should not have to ask for a compliment. Such as: What do you think about my new earrings?

The responses I may or may not get include (but are not limited to):

     a) No response, maybe a shrugging of the shoulders.
     b) A wrinkled up nose, as if to say: No, I don't really like it.
     c) "I think you're too old to pull it off."
     d) All of the above.

I hate asking.

I cannot believe I've raised children who can know every detail about everyone they've ever gone to school with, but yet they know nothing about the woman who birthed them into this world.

If I have a taste of wine or some other alcohol beverage, they imply with their words and/or body language that I must have a drinking problem. If you were to ask them, I'm certain they would say that I would need rehab.

And, "Oh my gosh! Mom smokes? How disgusting!" No dears. See, a long time ago your mother used to smoke. Now, maybe, maybe twice a year (maybe!) I may relax on the back deck and have a clove cigar. I really don't think this act warrants asking for your forgiveness. And it certainly doesn't require a stay in a detox facility.

Though, a week or two in a quiet place without the insulting and inquisitive implications from those humans of the lesser-aged variety, who just happen to be my off-spring, might be just what I do need.

But you know, Mom's weird for wanting that.

Hmmm. I wonder if the nurses will compliment my lovely gown?