Crazy? v. Valid?

How many of you have wondered if you're crazy? Wondered if you're not seeing things as others see things? Wondered if you exist on another plane or dimension and what you deem as normal, rational thinking is deemed as completely off-base by those that live in the parallel dimension?

Case in point: Teenage Daughter v. Mom

Now in this case we have the defendant: Mom. She works hard to bring home a paycheck to pay for the roof over everyone's head, and all of the households bills. These include, but are not limited to: gas, electricity, cable, phone, Internet, cell phones, car payment, insurance, mortgage. She also manages to get all of the kids money for lunch at school, sports, and the occasional gift.

Mom also works very hard to be diligent about the household chores: laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, etc. She tries to instill in her children the value and worth of being helpful, honest, caring and generous.

Mom is typically a pretty selfless person. She uses her vehicle to drive all of the children to doctor appointments, friends' houses, school/volunteer events, shopping, etc. And Mom, almost always manages to make it to see her children perform/play in a concert/game.

What Mom works the hardest at, however, is teaching her children respect. This is a constant up-hill battle. In a theoretically perfect family grouping you have the dual-parent partnership and the children. (Keep in mind that for this exercise gender and age of child does not matter.) Parent assigns age-appropriate duty/chore/task to be performed by child. Child carries out said duty/chore/task. Chore done. Parent happy. Child rewarded.

However, folks, in this particular case, we have the Plaintiff: Teenage Daughter (TD). TD has decided to illiterate to Mom her opinion. That being that Mom is crazy. This comment was made to Mom's face after TD was asked to do some chores, to pull her share of the weight, in the household. TD, as proven time and time again, wants something in return, possibly a meeting with the boyfriend (bf) who is irrelevant to this case. TD was off to a great start with the aforementioned chores, but was distracted with several texts, skype and facebook messages/updates. TD has become side-tracked from her duties, as she seemingly always does. Chores do not get finished. Mom is told by TD that TD promises to complete said chores upon return from spending time with bf.

As Mom, sadly, has heard this promise before, she does not believe TD and tells her "No." The calm tete-a-tete quickly graduates to a heated argument. Mom shouts in close proximity to TD's face to be certain she is heard: "Do you think I enjoy having days like this? Do you think I like being angry? Don't you think that I would much rather have a calm and happy household? You're xx years old and you live here rent free and you eat food here for free and you get driven around for free. I don't know. Maybe I'm just crazy. But I really don't think that I'm supposed to battle it out with you every day! Oh, I can see your face. You're sitting there waiting for Mom to get tired of yelling and send you off to your room so you can collect yourself and then Mom will get over it and we can do it all again in another hour. I'm not doing this because I'm grumpy."

After more of this one-sided conversation, TD was asked by Mom to make some sort of statement, put forth some kind of feedback. TD eventually replied that she simply figured that Mom was crazy. To this reply, Mom informed TD that her cellphone service (paid by Mom) would be turned off in a matter of minutes, and that she (TD) would not be allowed to go anywhere to be with her friends or to have her friends over to their home for the remainder of the holiday weekend.

TD proceeded to her room and Mom proceeded to log on to site of families cellphone service and suspend TD's line.

A few simple clicks and the deed was done.

A few simple hours in her room and TD was ready to submit herself to completing the lowly household chores she was assigned that morning, with regularly interjected pleas of "Can you turn my phone on now?"

Ladies and gentlemen, let me say to you that this scenario occurs many times a day. And not just to this particular family. It happens worldwide.

The issue here is that poor, distraught and stressed-out Mom has heard this kind of sentiment from her children every time they try to challenge her on carrying out their assigned duties. Mom wrings her hands. Mom wrinkles her brow. Mom plays with her hair as a habit of high-anxiety. And she wonders.... Poor Mom wonders.... "Am I really crazy? It's got to be easier than this? But how? I can't just let these things go without punishment. If I do the entire ball of yarn will come unraveled.Then what? Would I ever get my family back?"

So I stand here before you today, making this plea on behalf of Mom. Ask yourselves: What are we here for today? What is our job? Our job as parents is to make certain that our children grow up to be respectful and respected individuals. We need to ensure that these developing characters know what's expected of them, as well as what's in store for them if they do not meet those expectations. Our job today is to stand behind Mom. Find her not crazy. Recognize her as the adored and appreciated individual that she strives to be. Honor her role as care-giver, disciplinarian, boo-boo kisser, grocery-getter, laundress, self-reinventer. Everything Mom has done in the last 19 years has been for the sake of her children. Mom has made conscious decisions, decisions so easily made that they seemed unconscious. Decisions to have children rather than dogs. Decisions to put their needs before her own. Decisions to put their dreams and desires before her own.

In closing, I'm going to divulge to you a secret. Mom, here before you, take a good look at her, the silver hairs at her temples, the crows-feet and laugh-lines that map her life on her face; take a good look, for before you today is every mom. And every mom world-wide has been deemed by our spawn as senile. It's time to unite and make very clear to the plaintiff, TD, that we will not stand for the crassness, we will not condone the blasphemy, the vulgarity of the simple words spoken to every mom, simple words that cause such suffering. Suffering for Mom who questions her once-certain motives, but also suffering for TD, who doesn't realize that her "simple comments" have just made another tear, another cut into the exquisitely fine fabric of the Mom/TD relationship, possibly never to be mended again. Thank you. Defense rests.

I know I'm not crazy, but dang it! I guess it's true: when you hear something enough times, you really start to question the validity of what you're doing. "Is what I'm pushing valid enough to go this far?"

You'd better believe it!

Round 2 anybody?

The Flip Side

So it's that time again. Time to update the old blog. So many things to write vent about. But not quite sure what to choose first.

Maybe I could delight you for ten minutes with my woe-is-me attitude. Or maybe you'd like to read more about my financial difficulties, my own personal economic decline, my "project skinny", if you will. Maybe I'll whine a little more about how there just aren't enough hours in the day to accomplish all of my tasks, lists, goals, chores, to-do's, etc.

Yeah. I don't quite understand where I went wrong. I don't know what need wasn't met when I was a kid growing up, or why I just can't be happy - content with how things are.

Now this discontentedness applies to just about everything. From simple things like how my living room or bedroom are arranged to the current shower curtain that is hanging in my bathroom. (And, I'm sure you've noticed how many times I've changed my blog around.) I'm not a psychologist, so I really can't delve into the nitty-gritty of why I do this. But wouldn't that be a fascinating topic.

I've always been this way. Once I reached an age where I found that I could place things in my room where I wanted them, I suppose I felt a sense of being an adult. But on the flip side, figured that by re-arranging my room, organizing my closet by color, changing up my posters, I felt a sense of renewal with every change.

I still do. I feel like I'm starting over. Like I've set a goal and not only met it, but conquered it. Squashed it. Killed it! And that victorious feeling will last for several days - or until the newly arranged bedroom gets messed up. Then it's kind of like major downer!

You know, there's cleaning the bathroom, and then there's cleaning the bathroom. Which, when I've taken the time to clean the bathroom, it feels awesome. I feel like I've walked into a nice hotel bathroom, complete with fresh, fluffy towels, shiny, sparkly clean mirror and q-tip jar. The cotton balls have been replenished and the toothbrush cup has been restored to it's original brushed silver finish. The shower walls shine and the shower curtain no longer needs to be pulled over a certain way because you've taken the time to duct-tape up the holes so it hangs evenly again.

And then - What the @%^#^^& is that? Why, of course, it's the (like a bad movie) predictable blob of toothpaste! And the stubble in the sink, and the dribble running down the mirror, and the toilet paper has been torn off not on the perforation, and the wet towel has been left on the floor and the boxers are in the corner....

At this point I begin seeing red, and the usual door-slamming ritual ensues (amongst other - yes, I'll admit - childish tantrum fillers.

Then, there it goes. That awesome feeling of renewal and accomplishment has flown out the window and here we are again. Back in the house that's seemingly falling apart at the seems. It's not really. It's just that feeling, you know, of back at square one, walking through the labyrinth in every room, the piles of homework, bills, dirty dishes...

Well, maybe if I just rearrange my office I'll feel better. You think?

Wish me luck!

Something Old, Something New

No worries. No weddings here.

But try this on for size...

Hi. My name is Ruby, and I am a quitter.

I quit many things, undertakings, if you will, that I begin on a whim, a crazy idea. Or some things I do begin with a more serious nature. I will give myself that. But I quit a lot of things. And for many reasons.

I suppose that all of my reasons really stem from one: I become disgruntled.

I admit that, as well as being a quitter, I do tend to get bored with monotony. And typically when I make an attempt at an idea that I have come up with, I tend to be disappointed with the length of time that the project takes, or lack of talent I am able to apply to the project, or the meager end result slash payoff of the project.

I have tried my hand at many things. And these things get off to a good start. And these things may even go along for quite awhile as planned. Then somewhere towards the middle to the end of the project, things start falling apart. Again for many reasons...

*I don't have the right equipment/tools.
*Someone I know has discouraged me.
*I can foresee that the route I am taking will not give me the desired result.
*I tried to rush the project.
*I made the mistake of thinking "How hard can it be?", then that old slap in the face from reality.
*I think of another project that I would like to start and don't want to wait to finish the one that's already in progress.

What makes me do this? I suppose it's probably a mind-set that I developed as a child, that was never attended to and therefore, has led me, as an adult to be a quitter.

Technically, I suppose I'm not really a quitter. It's true... I begin a lot of projects. All with the best of intentions. Then, for one of the reasons listed above, I move on. Simply laying aside, putting away "temporarily", the project at hand.

I have much proof of this. I have boxes of yarn for my crocheting and knitting projects, file drawers full of photos, notes, etc for my genealogy projects, drawers of special ingredients for lotions, creams and soaps, smaller boxes with beads and wires for jewelry making, tubs of old, worn clothing to eventually make rag rugs and/or a quilting project.

This list goes on.

And on.

But to put a positive spin on this, I suppose I could say that I'm a beginner. I am creative, as  I have lots of ideas. And I tend to be enthusiastic and optimistic enough to forge my way through a new project, that is, until another brilliant idea pops into my head.

If only I could finish what I start....

But would finishing a project really benefit me? Make me feel good? Well, that would depend on the reason I started the project in the first place.

If I finished the knitting and crocheting: I would have a plethora of items to give as Christmas gifts (or to sell online).

If I finished updating the genealogy project I started many moons ago: I could self-publish and sell the updated edition to the family line it pertains to.

If I finished making the rag rug: I would have a rag rug that matches my master bathroom.

If I finished the jewelry making: I would again have a good amount of items to give as gifts (or sell online).

If I finished....

If I finished...

If I finished up my post: I could take my shower and go to bed.