July 24, 2011

The Wringer

Is that how you spell it? Wringer. I believe so, as I am talking about the type of wringer that I picture in my head as the very old-fashioned type of wringer that literally presses the water out of your clothes after you wash and rinse them. When I was a young girl, my sister and I would spend the summers with our great-grandparents and they had this type of set-up in their basement. I used to think it was the coolest set-up imaginable.

Laundry was definitely a "hands-on" experience....

Well, actually right now, I am applying this particular analogy to my body and, specifically, my body while harboring major PMS symptoms.

I know that you all experience symptoms, some lighter, some heavier. But during this past year, I've notice that mine get particularly bad the entire week - two weeks before the actual onslaught of Auntie Flo.

I find that I am much more critical of my children and their doings. The poor things. (Not.) Their actions and words seem to rub me the wrong way even more so than usual. In addition to my irritation threshold being much lower than usual, I must say that I am also much quicker to 'fly off the handle' into a red-faced, spitting, word-mangling rage. I cannot explain how, when I am in the throws of my rampage, my words come out hacked and contorted. What's up with that?

Since I've admitted the problem, I have been able to forewarn my family. I also am able to schedule time alone, just me and a book, computer, laundry... something, in my bedroom. I think they are all much more apt to let me be when they know that Mom could literally detonate at the drop of a dime.

So why, after all the years of females suffering through this and why, after all of the men and children bearing the brunt of the female pre-menstrual wrath, has nobody, no doctor, no scientist or no pharmacist come up with some kind of cure?

I wonder if severe PMS can be a qualified medical excuse for Family Medical Leave. I could get an easy twelve weeks off per year for this undue hardship. Then if this qualifies as FMLA, then why not Short-term Disability as well? Except, most disability insurances don't kick in until the 7th day of an illness. Dang! But I still think twelve weeks off throughout a twelve month period sounds pretty darn good.

Oh, and my b**bs really hurt!