Short & Sweet: The Inevitable Candy Corn-Induced Sugar Coma

Written by Ruby A. Iadeluca

**Please see disclaimer below.


I am falling into a nap/sugar coma.

I had some candy corns stashed in my drawer and for the last several days I have been very good; pouring out only a small handful to treat myself with after I've eaten my lunch. Today, however, I temporarily lost my mind. I ate my lunch, poured myself a small amount, then, when that was gone, I thought: There's only a small amount left in the bag. I'll pour those out on my desk and eat them slowly throughout the afternoon.

Well, you'd think that at the age of 42, I would know myself better. Eat them slowly? Riiiight. And secondly, after I poured the remainder of the bag out onto my desk, it looked like way more than I had thought it was going to be. I had this really big pile of candy corns in front of my phone!

I didn't put them back in the bag either. (Of course.) Though my sane self told my piggy self that I should just put some of them back in the bag. My piggy self said, "What? Are you kidding? Eating all these? No problem! And I deserve it!" I began shoveling them in for fear someone would walk into my office and see the massive pile of candy corns, and then they would know what kind of person I really am.

And now?

I'm extremely lethargic. I'm yawning. My eyes are crossing. And I've still got two more hours until the end of my work day. I really don't understand why I do this to myself. I could have just nibbled on a few more saltines to satisfy the cravings. In fact, I still might do that in hopes of counter-effecting the mid-afternoon crash. Maybe the carbs will absorb some of the sugar?

Wishful thinking!

Disclaimer: First, let me be very frank: I wrote this at work. NOT something I normally do. And I wrote it a few weeks back. I usually just jot down ideas and one-liners as they pop into my head, but I thought writing this immediately would get me the most bang for my buck. And I think that changing the tenses to make it sound like I wrote it after the fact would definitely have short-changed everyone involved. It was really only a matter of a few minutes and I promise I'll never do it again. Peace.